Lads & Lattes (High School Clowns & Coffee Grounds Book 1) Read online

  Reid: Would it be frowned upon if I put my headphones in while my parents lectured about college?

  Emma: Probs, I’ve been meaning to ask, are you planning on going to UNO or UNL?

  Reid: Yeah most likely one of them, I considered community college for a while but decided against it. Why?

  Kingston: UNL most likely, they have a pre-law program.

  My brows went up, I hadn’t expected laid back Kingston to consider being a lawyer. Jesse hadn’t responded, but I knew he had read the messages.

  Emma: I was going to set up a visit or tour or whatever. Wanna come with me?

  Reid: Hell yeah! We can make a day trip out of it, get lunch and walk around the areas near campus.

  Kingston: I’m down.

  Jesse: Fine.

  I let them know I’d get it all set up after I finished eating. They all had stipulations on when they wanted the tour to be, so it wouldn’t be until after Thanksgiving to give Reid a chance to finish up his fall season of lacrosse. Scarfing down the rest of my sandwich, I was already feeling better from the practice ACT test after my shift at work, but after eating I felt more like my normal myself.

  Emailing the advisors at both universities, I opened the communications for setting up the tours. Once that was done, I spent a little bit cleaning my room before collapsing onto my bed in exhaustion. I was asleep within moments, my dreams filled with visions of dancing away the night in the arms of my boys.

  8

  October 7th

  No words for this.

  #WhatDoIDoNow #FML #SundayFunday

  I sat staring once again at the piece of paper that had come in the mail yesterday. The large 19 in the corner taunted me as I glared at the page. I knew it was just practice, and I knew my anxiety had a lot to do with the low scoring, but I couldn’t bring myself to believe I got a 19 on my ACT.

  No, technically it wasn’t terrible.

  But to me, it was awful.

  I wasn’t a bad student, averaging A’s most of the time. Heck, I was even an honor roll student and had been since freshman year of high school, so I didn’t understand how I could do so poorly. The stressful topic of college just got so much worse.

  What the heck am I going to do?

  October 8th

  Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. -Winston Churchill

  #PracticeMakesPerfect #ItllBeOkay #MotivationMonday

  That dark cloud that had descended over me for the last 24 hours was still going strong when I left for school that morning. My mood was grim as I kept my arms crossed over my chest to hold my jacket closed, trying my best to keep the slight chill in the air out. None of my friends were in the parking lot this morning as I walked into the school, and the sound of everyone talking within the crowded cafeteria grated on my already dismal morning. I took my time as I made my way over to the table, not in the proper mindset to make meaningless chit chat with people. The bell ringing surprised me before I made it to the table, my slow going attitude today making me arrive a bit later than normal. Forgoing waiting for the boys, knowing Jesse wouldn’t want to be near me anyway, I went to my class.

  I felt my curiosity burn when Jesse never walked in, the seat to my right empty throughout the twenty minute homeroom. Without realizing it, my eyes darted around the halls for Jesse’s familiar scowl and square diamond stud earrings, but I couldn’t find them by the time I reached history. Reid was already seated in our normal two-person desk, his leg bouncing under the table as he worriedly watched the door. His expression melted into relief when he spotted me.

  “You didn’t come to the table this morning,” he whispered, his Old Spice scent surrounding me. The familiar notes comforted me ever so slightly, making the dark storm cloud that rested on my shoulders a little less daunting. “I was worried about you. You haven’t really messaged much this weekend either. Everything okay, Cali girl?”

  My nickname on his lips pushed a new surge of emotions through me, my stress about the future and the strongly ignored, but still growing feelings for the boys raged through me. Nodding, I focused on pulling out my textbook, homework, and other materials for class as I willed the burn of tears away. Soft fingers nudged my jaw, angling my head toward his concerned face. He had scooted closer while I was pulling out my stuff, and for a moment I just looked at him, taking in details of one of my closest friends.

  His dark curls had grown out in the last month, the mop becoming a bit unruly as it brushed his ears and forehead. Tanned skin had faded slightly with the quickly changing seasons as summer started to give way to fall. His facial hair was cut short, more five o’clock shadow than stubble, making him look a bit younger. Dark brows continued to pull down over his gorgeous eyes, the honey brown center haloed by a bright, vibrant green. His fingers shifted from my chin to my cheek, the pad of his thumb rubbing against my skin gently.

  “Emma?” His baritone voice was subdued as he whispered my name. I tried to give him a reassuring smile, but I wasn’t sure if it looked more forced or more like a grimace.

  “It’s nothing.” My cheek pressed into his hand with my sad smile. “I don’t want to talk about it right now. Maybe in a few days, okay?” His jaw clenched sharply at my dismissal, but he didn’t argue as he gave me a silent nod. “Where’s Jesse at? He wasn’t in homeroom,” I asked, the worry of not knowing coming to the forefront of my mind.

  “He’s got some personal stuff he had to deal with, but he’ll be back tomorrow,” he assured me.

  Jesse had skipped school. I could see it in Reid’s eyes.

  “He’s okay, right?” I hedged a guess, knowing Reid was lying to me. Well, maybe not lying per say, but not telling me the whole truth.

  Then again, I just did that very same thing.

  “Don’t worry. Okay, Cali girl?” It was my turn to clench my jaw without argument like he had done for me. Miss Ester started class a moment later, but even her vibrant teaching and bubbly personality couldn’t hold my attention with the warring thoughts in my head.

  Please, let the rest of the day go smoothly.

  School went by quickly, and even the school gossips left me be to talk amongst themselves despite their words about Jesse echoing through my mind. Reid and Kingston were going to run to the store and some other errands instead of coming over to study tonight. I took their words for what they were, a hint that they were going to go check on Jesse, but I didn’t comment.

  The city gave way to Nebraska’s corn and soybean fields, the yellow stalks reminding me that it was now October, and Reid brought up going to the pumpkin patch this weekend. Apparently, this pumpkin patch was more than just an actual patch where you picked your orange squash off the ground. If I was honest, I was excited to go and escape the worries that had been plaguing me. Something across the divided highway caught my eye and pulled me out of my thoughts. Looking closer, I felt my jaw drop.

  So much for the rest of the day going smoothly.

  “What the…” I exhaled sharply pulling my Honda to the shoulder, the rhythmic clicking of my hazards taking over for the music I had been playing. After I had made sure I wasn’t going to get run over, I jumped out of the car and sprinted across the four lanes and grass median.

  “What are you doing?” I hissed as I finally reached the reason I had run across a highway.

  Jesse.

  Walking by himself with a bag on his shoulder.

  But when he turned to look at me, all irritation at his stupidity was gone. Darkening red marks covered his face, and several of the small gashes were dripping and bubbling with blood. His knuckles were just as abused, cracked and previously bleeding, if the smudged wipes on his jeans were any indication. He favored the left side of his torso, his arm crossed in front of it defensively.

  “Holy crap,” I breathed, unable to fully process what I was seeing. “What the heck happened to you?” I closed the few feet between us, and his jaw clenched as he leaned away from my gaze. “Is this why you w
eren’t at school? Jesus, Jesse.” I ran my fingers through my hair in an anxious attempt to calm myself.

  I mean, heck, I’m not the one broken and bleeding and walking on the side of the highway.

  “Why are you here?” he bit out, his eyes burning holes in whatever he was glaring at off to the right. I gaped at him.

  “Are you freaking kidding me right now?” His head snapped back as he brought a surprised gaze to me at my angry tone. “You weren’t in school, and you’re on the side of the damned highway!” I hissed quietly. “You’re bleeding and obviously injured. Let’s go.” I hitched a thumb to my car. His eyes turned suspicious as he narrowed his dark brown eyes on me.

  “I’m not going with you,” he ground out, his shoulders rolling back as he turned to start walking again. I rubbed my face in irritation before sighing.

  “Jesse, wait,” I called out after he had walked several feet away from me, my tone exhausted as everything built back up within me. “I won’t ask questions. I just want to get you cleaned and patched up, okay?” He looked at me for a few tense moments before he nodded ever so slightly, his long legs closing the distance between us. He was an inch shorter than Reid, but he was still at least half a foot taller than me.

  We were silent as we went back to my waiting car. The drive was awkward, his attention focused outside the passenger window. I groaned when I saw my mom’s SUV in the driveway. Leaning forward, I looked to the front windows of my house finding all of the shades closed.

  The one time she actually had to be home was the day I needed her to be away.

  “I’m going to open the garage, and I want you to go to my bathroom and wait quietly,” I told him, turning off the car and grabbing my bag. “I know I said I wouldn’t ask any questions, but if my mom sees you looking like this, she’ll raise all sorts of hell. I know you don’t exactly like me, but I just want to help, okay?” He watched me briefly before nodding and following me to the garage door. He split off as soon as we entered the basement, his form disappearing behind the bathroom door.

  “That you, Emma?” my mom hollered. Taking a steadying breath, I left my bag at the base of the stairs and went up to check in.

  “Yup!” I greeted cheerfully, my head popping around the corner into her office where she was typing at her computer. “I’m feeling pretty gross from dance today, so I’m going to go shower. You here for the rest of the night?”

  “If no work comes up, then yes, I’ll probably just be working for a while before heading to bed. We have an early morning breakfast meeting, so I’ll be leaving a bit before you,” she informed me, not even bothering to turn away from her work to look at me. I felt a small blooming bubble of hurt at the fact that she couldn’t even look at me since it was the first time I had seen her in weeks, but I swallowed it down, my focus on Jesse waiting for me.

  “Okay.” I gave a quick smile as I inched back down the hall. “I’m going to shower now then probably just hang out in my room; I’m tired.” She gave a quick affirmative as I darted down the stairs and into the bathroom. Jesse was leaning against the counter, his shoulders slumped as he saw me, like he was worried I wouldn’t be coming back. I held my finger up to my lips as I curled around him, my arm reaching into the shower to turn the knob.

  “All right,” I whispered, trying to not notice that the bathroom’s lack of space was making me brush up against his muscled chest. Swallowing the lump that solidified in my throat when I felt the heat of his body against my chest, I focused on other things to distract myself. The scent of pine and mint surrounded me in a blanket of comfort despite the accidental boob grazes. “Is anything other than your face or your knuckles hurt?”

  “No,” he whispered harshly, but his eyes darted down too quickly. I waited him out and when he glanced back at me, I raised a brow silently demanding him to answer truthfully. He grumbled quickly but lifted his shirt. Dark skin was stretched tight over chiseled muscles that dipped in sculpted abs and defined pecs. I swallowed the surge of butterflies that took off at his very attractive body and focused on his injuries. There was one cut, but it wasn’t deep and barely bled as it sat in a cluster of bruises. I clenched my jaw when I noticed older, more yellow-tinted bruises mixed with too many fresh ones.

  My eyes burned, a wall of tears building in my eyes as my fingers brushed against his warm skin. Pulling myself together, I forced the tears away while I dug out the first aid kit under the sink. I busied myself with preparing the antiseptic pads so I could clean his cuts.

  “Fuck,” he bit out when I pressed the soaked pad to his eyebrow; the cut was the one bleeding the most so I focused on getting it cleaned and bandaged first.

  “Sorry.” I grimaced, feeling bad that I was making it worse, but I needed the cuts clean before I could bandage them. Working quickly, I washed and cleaned his injuries putting bandages and ointment on the ones that needed it. As I continued to work on him, I started realizing if my mom saw me without wet hair I would have to answer some very unwanted questions. “This might be awkward, but I told my mom I was going to shower, so I’m going to hop in real quick and then we can go to my room.” I turned and snatched the robe off the back of my bathroom door before placing it on the hook right outside the curtain.

  “I’ll, uh, turn around,” he murmured before angling himself toward the door and allowing me the privacy to undress. The thundering within my ears drowned out every sound around me as I quickly shed my clothes. I hadn’t done anything sexual past a few very awkward fingerings and hand-jobs with Tyler, so being naked with a boy made my skin flush and my heart race. I hopped into the shower and pulled the curtain closed, the water soaking my hair quickly before sticking my face out.

  “You can sit down if you want,” I offered quietly. Jesse turned slowly before looking at me and sending my heartbeat ratcheting up another notch. A different kind of fluttering filled my body, the tingling spreading from my stomach to my breasts and to the crest between my thighs. Feeling my skin flare in a bright red flush that had nothing to do with the hot stream of water, I yanked my head back into the shower. Shuffling sounded on the other side of the curtain as I saw Jesse’s silhouette move to sit on the toilet lid.

  Leaning my head back the hot water cascaded over my heated skin. I couldn’t believe Jesse, of all people, was sitting on the other side of a very thin curtain while I showered. That tingling blanketed over me, the heat of the water fueling the strange flame within me. Lathering my shampoo through my dark tresses, I attempted to push the building urge away. I focused on my shower, getting through my different steps until my last step where I soaped up my body, the feeling of the slippery bubbles against my sensitive skin making that flame flare up once more.

  Biting my lip, I held my breath and closed my eyes, my fingers trailing against my skin in a burst of sensations. That tingling turned to searing in the wake of my fingers’ path as I moved across my breasts. My nipples pebbled against the tips of my fingers, and a surge of need flooded me as I pressed my slick thighs together. Something felt so wrong, so forbidden, about exploring my own body with Jesse right on the other side of the curtain waiting patiently for me, but at the same time it felt so right.

  What the heck is happening to me?

  With that proverbial splash of cold water, I was brought back to reality. I sped through the rest of my washing before quickly rinsing. Shutting the water off, I snatched the robe off the hook and wrapped it around my skin, the fire burning within my veins still very much apparent. I opened the curtain when the robe was secure, and Jesse’s eyes drifted down my body. I felt completely bare even though only my legs were on display since my fluffy robe only went to my mid-thigh. Curling my arms around myself, I stuck my head out the door and listened for any sounds of my mom before grabbing Jesse’s shirt and pulling him to my room behind me.

  I closed the door quietly. I hadn’t realized I still held onto his shirt tightly until his warm hand wrapped around mine. Curious eyes watched me as he squeezed my hand lightly, letting m
e know that I could let go. When I did, he moved to sit on the end of the bed. I took a steadying breath and pulled out a pair of pajamas and a clean pair of underwear, forgoing a bra like I always did. Before I got dressed, I put on my music and turned it up an extra notch to mask any of our talking.

  “Can you, uhm…” I whispered, twisting my finger in a circle to have him turn around. Moving with a sharp turn, he faced the opposite wall, his fingers digging into his denim-clad thighs. I shucked the robe, and the cool air of the room had me shivering as I rushed to get dressed. Once I was, I tapped him lightly on the shoulder so he knew. I sank onto the bed next to him and noticed the incessant vibrating of a phone call.

  “Emma?” Reid’s voice was frantic. “Have you seen Jesse?”

  “Yeah, he’s right next to me,” I murmured not wanting to speak too loudly. The sound of Reid talking in the background filled the speaker, but it was too far from the phone to understand over my music.

  “Holy shit,” he muttered, “we’ve been freaking out for the last hour trying to find him.”

  “He was walking on the side of the road. I passed him on my way home and made him come with me.” I eyed the boy in question who watched me shamelessly.

  “My phone broke,” he muttered. “I was walking to Reid’s house.” My brows furrowed at his admission. Whatever happened to him had put me on high alert, but I had promised not to ask questions, so I clamped down on the urge to assault him with every single one rattling around in my head.

  “His phone’s broken. He was walking to your house,” I relayed.

  “This might be a weird question, but how does he look?” Reid’s question was hesitant, and after finding Jesse like I had I understood his concern.